Installing a Husband

This is one my Aunt Elaine sent me and I laughed to hard I just had to share. Mhmm, oh yeah.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from *Boyfriend 5.0 to *Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under *Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, *Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as:
* Romance 9.5
* Personal Attention 6.5

and then installed undesirable programs such as: * NBA 5.0 * NFL 3.0 *Golf Clubs 4.1 * Elk Hunting 5.5 Also *Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and *Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running *Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind, * Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while *Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: *ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download *Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the *Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to *Grumpy Silence 2.5, Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install *Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0; In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend *Cooking 3.0 and *Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck
Tech Support