Frustrated

This morning I am so frustrated! Last night, my ex came into town. He has lived in North Carolina for the past 10 months and has not seen the kids. His life is so very sad, he is in a constant state of starting over. I am grateful he left me, we are MUCH better off. However, it is still hard on Roxy and Tyler. As much as they love Shawn and are happy in their life, they still love their Andy-dad and the chaos of his life is very difficult for them. So he surprises them by showing up yesterday (he had called and told me about it the day before so I was expecting him) and they were excited but I could also sense the apprehension in them. He took them back to his hotel with his wife and other 2 kids ages 5 and 3 months. They had dinner and went swimming and I'm sure they had a good time. The problem is when it is time for him to leave Roxann melts down every time. It is so difficult for her to say goodbye. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that she never knows when or if she's going to see him again. Apparently he is moving back to Utah where all of my family is. This will give her a few more opportunities to see him but I wonder if it is really good? Andy has agreed to let Shawn adopt the kids (because he doesn't want to pay child support- like he does anyway) and of course we would never tell Roxy and Ty that they couldn't have contact with him because he is a part of their life. I am so torn in all of this because I see how much it hurts them to have him gone and I see how much it hurts them to have him around. I mean, what do you do?? All we can really do is just love them and continue to help them feel secure here at home and with Shawn and I loving them. Maybe one day they will choose on their own to not have Andy in their life but until then...