Happy Birthday to me

Today is the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday. Ugh! When did I get so old?? How did this happen?? Sigh... Honestly I have hated my birthday for as long as I can remember. It all stems back to my 8th birthday. This is supposed to be a BIG special birthday right? Sadly the only thing I can really remember about it is that my grandma, who I was very close to, was sick in the hospital dying of cancer. I remember making her a valentine card for my mom to take to her. I remember wanting to see her and my mom telling me I couldn't and that I needed to remember her healthy and happy. She passed away on the 15th- 3 days after my birthday. I remember feeling my mother's grief and sorrow. I remember the funeral and how I tried so hard not to cry because I wanted to be strong for my mom. From then on I think I really associated my birthday with that event and those sad feelings. Then 13 years later my mom passed away from cancer- 5 days before my birthday. Again with the sadness, stress and grief. I think my mom knew how I already felt about my birthday and she really didn't want me to go through that again because she made my family promise to throw me a party with crepe paper and balloons for my birthday- and they did. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, dad, bro and sis were all there- trying so hard to make that awful day special for me. All because my mom wanted it to be, but yet it is still such a difficult time of year for me and really not so much because I'm getting older (which I am-ugh! lol) but because of the memories this time of year holds. This year I really feel like such a sad and pathetic person that I can't move on from this, I mean its been 31 years since grandma passed and 17 years since mom passed, can't I just get over it?? I don't know, but I resolved this year to try. It started out a little rough in the morning and I couldn't help but cry when my dad called to wish me a happy birthday, BUT I muddled through and my sweet husband took me to the Temple. I enjoyed every minute of sitting there feeling the peace wash over me and knowing that my eternal companion loved me and that families can be together forever! What a glorious place! He then took me to lunch where we ate way too much (so much for the "diet" today:D). It was topped off with R and T being so sweet to me and A and B calling me. It really can't get much better than that! I received MANY birthday wishes from many wonderful friends. It turned out to be not such a bad day after all. :)